Library Update: quotes archive
The Library Update is emailed each week to subscribers. Each issue contains an interesting or humourous quote. All the quotes used since 2000 are listed here. Subscribe to the Library Update.
Quotes 2006
- no.51
- Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing. - Randy K. Milholland, Webcomic pioneer, " Something Positive Comic", 07-03-05.
- no.50
- Unfortunately, computers are also stupid. Unlike human beings, computers possess the truly profound stupidity of the inanimate. - Bruce Sterling, "The Hacker Crackdown", author, (1954 - )
- no.49
- A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley, US actor, author, & humorist, (1889 - 1945)
- no.48
- When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby, comedian, (1927 - )
- no.47
- The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back. - Franklin P. Jones
- no.46
- My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette, in a Compuserve chat, magician & showman (1955 - )
- no.45
- We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true. - Robert Wilensky, speech at a 1996 conference.
- no.44
- To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood. - George Santayana, US (Spanish-born) philosopher (1863 - 1952)
- no.43
- Dissent is what rescues democracy from a quiet death behind closed doors. - Lewis H. Lapham, editor (1935- )
- no.42
- Quality means doing it right when no one is looking. - Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company (1863 - 1947).
- no.41
- As a teenager, you are at the last stage of your life when you are happy to hear that the phone is for you. - Fran Lebowitz, US writer and humorist (1950 - )
- no.40
- Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather, (1908 - 1976)
- no.39
- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Noel Coward, English actor, dramatist, & songwriter (1899 - 1973)
- no.38
- The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. -Andrew Tannenbaum, computer science professor (1944- )
- no.37
- Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. - Daniel J. Boorstin, US historian, (1914 - ).
- no.36
- So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work. - Peter Drucker, American (Austrian-born) management writer (1909 - 2005).
- no.35
- One of the great mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions rather than their results. - Milton Friedman, economist, (1912- )
- no.34
- I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe. - Richard Gere, to The Guardian (UK), June 2002
- no.33
- We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know. - W. H. Auden, US (English-born) critic & poet (1907 - 1973)
- no.32
- If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z; X is work, Y is play, and Z is keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein, physicist, (1879-1955)
- no.31
- The weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. - P. J. O'Rourke, US humorist & political commentator, (1947 - ).
- no.30
- Anyone who has accustomed himself to regard the life of any living creature as worthless is in danger of arriving also at the idea of worthless human lives. - Albert Schweitzer, philosopher, physician, musician, Nobel laureate (1875-1965)
- no.29
- The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. - Nathaniel Borenstein, computer programmer, (1957 - )
- no.28
- Count no day lost in which you waited your turn, took only your share and sought advantage over no one. - Robert Brault
- no.27
- Education has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading. - G. M. Trevelyan, British historian (1876 - 1962)
- no.26
- You think it's a conspiracy by the networks to put bad shows on TV. But the shows are bad because that's what people want. It's not like Windows users don't have any power. I think they're happy with Windows, and that's an incredibly depressing thought. - Steve Jobs, US computer engineer & industrialist, (1955 - )
- no.25
- It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment. - Ansel Adams, photographer (1902-1984)
- no.24
- Patients may not swear, curse, get drunk, behave rudely or indecently on pain of expulsion after the first admonition. There shall be no card playing or dicing and such patients as are able shall assist in nursing others, washing and ironing linen and cleaning the rooms and such other services as the matron may require. - Regulations of the Philadelphia General Hospital, 1790.
- no.23
- Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long. - Ogden Nash, US humorist & poet (1902 - 1971)
- no.22
- I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center. - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., writer (1922- )
- no.21
- A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return. - Salman Rushdie, writer (1947- )
- no.20
- Anything too stupid to be said is sung. - Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778)
- no.19
- The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money. - David Richerby
- no.18
- Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears. - Robert W. Sarnoff
- no.17
- Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250. - Harper's Index, October 1989
- no.16
- I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later. - Mitch Hedberg, comedian (1968 - 2005).
- no.15
- I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say "Mitch," and I say "what?" and turn my head slightly. - Mitch Hedberg, American comedian (1968 - 2005).
- no.14
- Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. - Ed Gardner, "Duffy's Tavern", 1940's radio program.
- no.13
- If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. - Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine.
- no.12
- Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art. - Susan Sontag, author and critic (1933-2004)
- no.11
- Designing [websites] with CSS is sometimes like barreling down a crumbling mountain road at 90 miles per hour secure in the knowledge that repairs are scheduled for next Tuesday. - Al Sparber, PVII (projectseven.com)
- no.10
- The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. - George Jessel
- no.9
- The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude. - Aldous Huxley, novelist (1894-1963)
- no.8
- If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. - Johnny Carson, US comedian & television host (1925-2005)
- no.7
- My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared. - P. J. Plauger, Computer Language, March 1983
- no.6
- Never judge a book by its movie. - J. W. Eagan
- no.5
- Trying to extract useful information from the Internet is like trying to sip from a firehose. - Chris Welch
- no.4
- Lower your voice and strengthen your argument. - Lebanese proverb
- no.3
- Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. - Doug Larson
- no.2
- Anything too stupid to be said is sung. - Voltaire, French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778).
- no.1
- Only one thing is impossible for God: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet - Mark Twain, author and humourist (1835-1910)