Library Update: quotes archive

The Library Update is emailed each week to subscribers. Each issue contains an interesting or humourous quote. All the quotes used since 2000 are listed here. Subscribe to the Library Update.

2000

no.49
Let Us Keep Christmas Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing; Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering It's poignant meaning for the hearts of men. Let us get back our childlike faith again. - Grace Noll Crowell
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home! - Charles Dickens
Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat, Please to put a penny in an old man's hat; If you haven't got a penny a ha'penny will do, If you haven't got a ha'penny, God bless you. - Mother Goose
no.48
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome K. Jerome, writer, 1859-1927
no.47
Today the real test of power is not capacity to make war but capacity to prevent it. - Anne O'Hare McCormick, journalist (1880-1954)
no.46
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. - Albert Einstein ("What Life Means to Einstein: An Interview by George Sylvester Viereck," Oct. 26, 1929 issue, The Saturday Evening Post)
no.45
Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward. They may be beaten, but they may start a winning game. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, poet, dramatist, novelist, and philosopher (1749-1832)
no.44
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot, educator (1834-1926)
no.43
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen, author, actor (1935- )
no.42
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants. - Isaac Newton, philosopher and mathematician (1642-1727)
no.41
All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. - Ellen Glasgow, novelist (1874-1945)
no.40
Scientists are peeping toms at the keyhole of eternity. - Arthur Koestler (1905-1983); novelist, political activist, and social philosopher.
no.39
If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house. If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation. If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world. - Chinese Proverb
no.38
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Chinese proverb
no.37
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. - Robert Benchley, humorist, drama critic, and actor (1889-1945)
no.36
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot, "The Durable Satisfactions of Life"
no.35
Opportunities multiply as they are seized. - Sun Tzu, General, "The Art of War".
no.34
Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace. The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things. - Amelia Earhart, aviator (1897-1937)
no.33
Today the real test of power is not capacity to make war but capacity to prevent it. - Anne O'Hare McCormick
no.32
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is. - Chuck Reid
no.31
We must not confuse the thrill of acquiring or distributing information quickly with the more daunting task of converting it into knowledge and wisdom. - Principles of Technorealism: Principle 4
no.30
Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 B.C.)
no.29
I think...I think it's in my basement. Let me go upstairs and check. - M.C. Escher, artist (1898-1972)
no.28
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it. - Voltaire, author and philosopher (1694 - 1778)
no.27
A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
no.26
To err is human....to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. - Murphy's Law on Computing
no.25
Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a mistake when you make it again. - F.P. Jones
no.24
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things. - Woody Allen
no.23
When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes. - Desiderius Erasmus, (1466-1536)
no.22
The trouble with bookshops is that they are as bad as pubs. You start with one and then you drift to another, and before you know where you are you are on a gigantic book-binge. - "Bodies in a Bookshop" by R.T. Campbell
no.21
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it. - Steven Wright
no.20
Haiku for computers:
 
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down.
 
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
 
Windows NT crashed
I am the Blue Screen of Death
No one hears your screams.
 
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen
dies so beautifully.
 
A file that big?
It might be very useful
but now it is gone.
 
To have no errors
would be life without meaning.
No struggle, no joy.
no.19/18
Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot
no.17
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. - Fred Brooks
no.16
FAMOUS LAST WORDS ON COMPUTING:
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. -Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year. -The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. -Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
no.16
Since nothing we intend is ever faultless, and nothing we attempt ever without error, and nothing we achieve without some measure of finitude and fallibility we call humanness, we are saved by forgiveness. - David Augsburger
no.15
Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much. - John Wayne
no.14
Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blue prints of your ultimate achievements. - Napoleon Hill
no.13
Sign on a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
no.12
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. - Mark Twain
no.11
A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy. - Albert Einstein
no.10
It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do for which we are accountable. - Moliere
no.8
Top ten signs your cat has been using your computer:
10. E-Mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."
9. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
8. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
7. Your web browser has a new home page: •
6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it ... and a strange aroma of tuna.
5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of "CyberDog."
4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
3. You find new software on your Hard Drive like CatinTax and WarCat II.
2. On IRC (International Relay Chat) you're known as the IronMouser.
1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.
no.7
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot. - Sarah Jackson
no.6
How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb? Sorry, the subscription to "Lightbulb" has been canceled due to budget cuts.
no.5
Child! Do not throw this book about;
Refrain from the untold pleasure of cutting all the pictures out!
Preserve it as your chiefest treasure. - Hilaire Belloc, 1896
no.4
Funniest Library of Congress subject headings:
Adult children
Beehives see Bee - Housing
Combustion, Spontaneous human
Drug abuse - Programmed instruction
Errors and blunders, Literary
Feet in the Bible
Hand-Surgery - Juvenile literature
Impurity centers
Lord's supper - Admission age
Lord's supper - Reservation
Low German wit and humor
Monotone operators
Running races in rabbinical literature
Sewage - Collected works
Standing on one foot see One-leg resting position
Stupidity see, Inefficiency, Intellectual
Thumbing the nose see Shanghai gesture
Urinary diversions
Venereal disease - Programmed instruction
no.3
Haiku for computers:
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
no.2
Sign outside a photographer's studio:
OUT TO LUNCH: if not back by five, out to dinner also
no.1
Library graffiti: "FREE THE BOUND JOURNALS!!"

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